The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

First order of business:
Welcome Cassie! - and congrats to Rob and Tracey!
Welcome Sean! - and congrats to Aunt Margd!

Well gang, the saga continues...
When we last left off, the daring hero (mel) was off to take her 3 hr Glucose Tolerance Test - otherwise known as pregnant lady torture 101 - after failing the glucose Screen. So for the GTT, they starve you for 12 hrs, get you up at the crack of dawn, stick a needle in you, make you drink 100g of glucose in 5 min, send you back to the waiting room and tell you not to throw up. (100g glucose is like 4 cans of coke all squeezed into one can) Then, every hour (on the hour) thereafter, they stick you with needles to collect about a gallon of blood. For most people this runs rather smoothly. For me. however, I required 2 phlebotomists + specialist consult + 7 sticks to get 4 blood draws. The first irony here is that when I began this test, I asked if they could just put in a catheter (think IV) to pull blood from periodically. They say "Oh, no. We just stick you 4 times" - or 7+ as the case may be. On the last blood draw (3+ sticks with nothing coming out) the girls were flustered and didn't know what to do. I assured them that I was NOT leaving the office until they got the last vial of blood out of me. I did NOT want to start over from the beginning at a later date. And - if they couldn't get anthing more from either arm or hand, I'd take my shoes off so they could try my feet. No kidding, I really told them that. I think that just flustered them more, as that's when they called for the consult. Finally, covered in bandaids, I went home to greet Bill with big alligator tears in my eyes at the injustice of it all. Needless to say, I took the rest of the day off work.

So, how did it all turn out?? That's where the good, the bad, and the ugly comes in.

"The Good" I call to inquire about my results and the verdict was "well, TECHNICALLY you passed" - huh? To fail this test, you must have an 'above normal' glucose reading for 2 for the 4 draws. All of my readings AFTER drinking the sugar were fine. However, I failed the BASELINE fasting blood glucose levels. Of course I'd be the one to fail a test before I even started the blasted thing!!!!

"The Bad" Since I failed the fasting portion of the exam, I was scheduled to meet with a nurse who would train me on how to properly use a glucometer. So here we go back again. Now I'm instructed to test several times per day. In addition, exactly what and when I eat will be monitored at least for two weeks - when I go back for my regularly scheduled appointment. Bill astutely pointed out "so you're basically on the Atkin's diet now" - uuuhhhmm yeah. The nurse cheerfully informed us that there are no restrictions on fat or protein so I "can have all the scrambled eggs and bacon I want" ... which is pretty close to ZERO right now. But thanks for the enthusiasm anyway.

"The Ugly" A week and a half after playing the role of "pincushion" in act two of my drama, my bruises are finally starting to fade. In that time period, I've been walking around looking like a junkie who is seeking new and different ports of entry. More than a few people have noticed my arms and hands, and then given me very strange looks - including the people in my new "aqua fitness" class. Kinda hard to hide the evidence when dressed for pool activities. But what the heck, huh? It makes them wonder.

One Trimester Down!

We'd like to introduce our tadpole. Lil'P is just over 6 weeks here. In the last few weeks, our tadpole has lost its little tail and is now looking more like a human than an alien.


Fast Forward: So, we've made it through the first trimester.

I'm feeling much better now that the "morning" sickness is subsiding. They should really call it "randomly-timed-throughout-the-day sickness" instead. Thanks to those of you with advice on remedies. I found that the "eat all the time" technique worked best. Upon following that advice, I noticed that my pants were getting snug around week 10. So I was bracing for the "you've gained too much weight too fast" lecture from the docs at the 10 week appointment. On the contrary - I was surprised to find that I had lost weight and got the "are you eating??" lecture instead. Life is funny. So last week my weight woes were gone, and I'm happy to report an overall 3 lb gain for the first trimester. Why am I happy to be gaining weight??? (Maybe someone should contact Han - now I can tell him the secret to gaining weight is to get pregnant. It's worked reliably for every mother I know and it only takes 9 months! Tehehe!)

This week I had the pleasure of the glucose screen. It wasn't too bad - drink the syrup, wait an hour, donate some blood. Unfortunately, the donated blood was still full of syrup. So I've progressed to the semifinal round next week. Drink twice as much syrup, wait twice as long, give twice as much blood. I was cranky enough after fasting 3 hr for the first screen. I'm going to be a raging nightmare fasting 12hr, then no food for another 4hr during the test. Hope they have the straitjacket waiting. I'm sure they have some psych experiment going on behind the one way mirror. "Mental and emotional toll of cruel and unusual punishment on hungry pregnant women confined to a waiting room chair for 4 hours after drinking wet sugar at 8am" Now THAT'S somebody's thesis there, my friends.

Stay tuned! More exciting updates to come!